Maudlin evening post

I'm noticing a pattern here- unless some big event occurs, my evening posts are the melancholy, depressed ones, and my morning posts tend towards the more thoughtful.

Anyway, today's maudlin post covers the feeling I get that I always feel like something of an outsider in the many social groups I belong to. It always seems to be, a and b, c and d, e and her 3 friends....and Mike. I feel like the afterthought.

No real point to this post. And yes, I do talk about many cheerful things in real life- I seem to save my LJ for unloading...

Hmmm....

I'm in a very odd mood this morning. Despite my vaguely morose post last night, which I suspect was far more alchohol talking than anything else, I'm feeling relatively chirpy this morning.

But I'm also feeling very odd, like I'm not quite in this reality at the moment. It's barely perceptible, like being slightly out of focus or something.

It's quite an interesting feeling- also I feel like there's a sort of manic laughter hidden just below the surface.

Hmmmm...

ME and my chaos

Chaos contains both order and disorder (as there are patterns within chaos, but they are unpredictable). I contain both order and disorder (both in thought and behaviour).

Am I chaos?

And if I hold out a short staff and call it a short staff, I oppose its reality. If I do not call it a short staff, I ignore the fact. Now what should I call it?*

*paraphrased from a Zen koan.

Still in an odd mood, in case you hadn't realised...

Amusing

A recently-encountered friend came up with a line that I felt needed to be immortalised here...

In response to my comment that I was in an odd mood, they responded;

"From what I can tell, you wouldn't know an ordinary mood if it ran up to you and offered you an ice-cream".

Many thanks, I shall cherish that comment for a long time...