This is odd...

[nadriel]

I was going to be going to Wales for a friends engagement party this weekend, but I'm backing out, because, for no discernible reason I can fathom, whenever I start thinking about it, I start to panic.

And I don't panic as a general rule, but this is almost a full-on panic attack.

So I'm not going, unless I can work out what causes this weird fear, and deal with it...

Comments

[joysilence.livejournal.com]

Have you seen a doctor about it? My doctor out me on beta-blockers for a while, just to combat the palpitations you get. It's a band-aid solution but it might help you while you learn to deal with the attacks.

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

It's hardly necessary- it's only the thought of going to this engagement party that is causing me to panic, nothing else. And the party will be over by the end of the weekend.

It's just odd, because I don't get scared or panicky or anything like that...

[traumtanzerin.livejournal.com]

Maybe you are panicking for the same reason I start to cry when in a movie a fucking awesome guy proposes to a girl after like having just met her and immediately knowing SHE is the one.
It is this mixture of "me want too" and "fuck it, why does everone else get it but not me" and also, at an engagement party, that "So, when you"-thingie going on at the buffet ?
I remember, when I was still with the guy I was living with for 8 years, we were invited to marriages of friends who hadn't dated their spouses for longer than 6 months - and this whole social expectations thing: Well, NORMALLY you should.... and why aren't you... tralala.
Well, anyway, I am with you there. Consoling ? ;-)

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

I am definitely feeling consoled. But I don't think I'm going to go-my instincts are screaming "don't go", and they don't normally do that, so I'm going to listen to them...

[traumtanzerin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is sort of what I thought too. If you feel like that - don't go.
I am sparing myself happy-couple-double- or tripple meetings with friends e.g.
It makes me feel sad (backwards) and anxious and panicking (forwards). In short: NOT GOOD. And the thumb rule for me: as long as I am not gonna learn anything from it: Avoid situations that will make you feel bad !!! There is enough stuff gonna happen that will make me feel bad anyways, I don't have to search for it actively, right ?!

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

Ja, du hast recht...

Oh, before I forget....

*cough* E-mail address *cough*

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

~Ooops, did I forget to mention that 1/4 of my degree was in German, und meine Mutter Deutschlehrerin ist?

My bad :-)

Hehe, I love surprising people- especially when so many people I meet assume that, because I'm British, I won't speak any foreign languages.

And I've got your e-mail address now, and sent you something...

I thought it only fair to provide my first name at the bottom of the e-mail, so we're even again :-)