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nadrielRead the comic here
So the Meddling Kids are Trying to Rip Off Your Head
A Survival Primer for first-time horrors from beyond the grave, brought to you by the Illuminati
Rule 1: Avoid Teenagers at all cost.
The statistical probability of a teenage college student who happens to be a hunter of the supernatural is ten times that of a thirty-something banker. Take no chances, and just run away from anyone younger than 25.
We recommend attacking the elderly instead. Very few octogenarians are proficient with a broadsword.
Exceptions do exist.
Rule 2: Know your weakensses.
If the only method of destroying you is a stake through the heart or decapitation, involving yourself in hand-to-hand combat is possibly not the wisest course of action. Instead, we recommend investing in a nice, high-powered sniper rifle.
Rule 3: Take Advantage of Your Enemies Assumptions.
They're expecting you to attack using supernatural strength and occult sorcery, not by sneaking into their homes at night and cutting their brake cables.
Rule 4: Plotting to unleash a nightmarish horde of hellbeasts onto the Earth gets you killed by various secret government agencies, solitary monster hunters, and us. Bemoaning your fate as a creature of the night gets you laid.
You do the math.
Rule 5: If the People you associate with could accurately be described as an "Unearthly Legion of Terror", chances are good that you are cannon fodder. To combat this unwanted state of affairs, try to differentiate yourself from your comrades. Find some sort of hook that implies you are an individual, with a unique and interesting backstory, and not simply another faceless goon.
Rule 6: Dance, monkey, Dance
Rule 7: If all else fails, scream "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!" and run like hell. Please note there is a 90% chance that you will be consumed along with everything else by the trans-dimensional entities summoned to this dimension by invoking He Who Should Not Be Named.
-------------------------------------
Note, it's even funnier in comic form, although the strips are located halfway through the archives. Still, it's worth reading the ones before anyway.
So the Meddling Kids are Trying to Rip Off Your Head
A Survival Primer for first-time horrors from beyond the grave, brought to you by the Illuminati
Rule 1: Avoid Teenagers at all cost.
The statistical probability of a teenage college student who happens to be a hunter of the supernatural is ten times that of a thirty-something banker. Take no chances, and just run away from anyone younger than 25.
We recommend attacking the elderly instead. Very few octogenarians are proficient with a broadsword.
Exceptions do exist.
Rule 2: Know your weakensses.
If the only method of destroying you is a stake through the heart or decapitation, involving yourself in hand-to-hand combat is possibly not the wisest course of action. Instead, we recommend investing in a nice, high-powered sniper rifle.
Rule 3: Take Advantage of Your Enemies Assumptions.
They're expecting you to attack using supernatural strength and occult sorcery, not by sneaking into their homes at night and cutting their brake cables.
Rule 4: Plotting to unleash a nightmarish horde of hellbeasts onto the Earth gets you killed by various secret government agencies, solitary monster hunters, and us. Bemoaning your fate as a creature of the night gets you laid.
You do the math.
Rule 5: If the People you associate with could accurately be described as an "Unearthly Legion of Terror", chances are good that you are cannon fodder. To combat this unwanted state of affairs, try to differentiate yourself from your comrades. Find some sort of hook that implies you are an individual, with a unique and interesting backstory, and not simply another faceless goon.
Rule 6: Dance, monkey, Dance
Rule 7: If all else fails, scream "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!" and run like hell. Please note there is a 90% chance that you will be consumed along with everything else by the trans-dimensional entities summoned to this dimension by invoking He Who Should Not Be Named.
-------------------------------------
Note, it's even funnier in comic form, although the strips are located halfway through the archives. Still, it's worth reading the ones before anyway.
