nadriel

Tying while tired- thoughts all jumbled not very good at this sort of thing trying to keep thoughts from focussing.

Not sure why I'm doing this- relaxation of orderly patterns too long held?

So hard to relax even this one thing.

Alt Me = Fun?

Stream should be consciousness not incoherance. This isn't really doing anything.

Still, waste not want not, and a thousand other aphorisms that are on the tip of my tongue.

Self-censoring is the way forward? Or backward. Probably twisted. Corkscrew. See what this looks like in the morining.

One track- no many, can't capture lots though, just top few. Thinking about thinking.

Need to let stuff out, can't. Can't? Won't. Excessive self-control.

Heh. (R)etry, (I)gnore, (F)ail?

Too many retrys, maybe I should just fail? Not yet, anyway. Perseverence rewarded? Or stubborness punished?

No one has all the answers, and most don't even have all the questions. If I don't understand me, how can I expect others to? Should they be able to?

Why do I care? About anything. Everything. Everyone. Counterbalance?

Reasons for everything, but reason is sometimes overrated.

Everything is contrived- is this too- am I subconsciously manipulating what I decide to type? Too many questions. If I can't trust myself, who can I trust?

Must find sense of self-worth somewhere. Check other trousers. Humour still inappropriate at times, but you have to laugh. Or go nuts. Possibly both.

Going round in circles- spiralling inwards.

End of line.