Me and my (bad) habits...

[nadriel]

Something I've noticed (and had pointed out) about myself. When someone brings up something, if I've had a similar experience, or know something about the sort of thing they're talking about, I will usually mention it. Leaving aside the way I do so, which apparently comes across as trying to sound superior (Hey, we've already established I'm not the world's best socialiser, more evidence isn't necessary at this point), I've actually worked out why I do it.

I'm trying to find points of reference and relation with the people I'm talking to, in order to try and establish something of a rapport- the intent being "Hey, we have something a little in common, isn't that nice". However, it seems to come across to some as, "I know more about this than you", which obviously has the opposite effect to the desired one. Guess I'll just have to learn to talk less. Hell, maybe I should just shut the fuck up and not say anything at all. Except I'd probably still end up offending people*.

Meh.



*"people" here being the term I use to describe "people who I actually value", as opposed to the majority of the general populace, who I don't give a flying fuck what they think of me.

Comments

[fearmeforiampink]

I have something slightly similar. I think my memory is very relative - I'm not good at consiously searching through it, but I can be easily reminded of stuff, even little things from a long time ago. Thus when people say stuff it reminds me of other stuff, which I frequently want to share, which they frequently don't want to hear.

Gah. People should listen to me more :P

[lariss.livejournal.com]

OH! ME TOO!!!!
I want to relate.. find common ground...attempt to establish an understanding...
And usually end up in the same place you are saying you end up in.
My friends all tend to be people who will answer a story "about the time when" with another story "about the time when"
They also tend to be less self absorbed than people who want to tell you their sotry, but find it inappropriate when you dare tell them yours.

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

And unfortunately, because I'm very widely read, and have had discussions and so forth with people from a wide variety of walks of life, plus, as a vicar's kid, have encountered quite a lot myself, I can find something to relate to an awful lot of situations, thus apparently coming across as a know-it-all...

[creepy-doll.livejournal.com]

Perhaps the person just meant that instead of taking an interest in what they were saying you directed the conversation back to yourself. This is how conversation works of course, like tennis, but maybe they didn't mean that they don't want to hear your story, just that they'd like you to show a little interest in theirs before comparing it to your own experiences?