Last and always...

(A couple of paragraphs of angsty moping deleted)

I'll keep the music lyrics still though, because I like the songs they're from...

Finally, a bit of a song that really resonates at the moment...

I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I'm dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?

(no subject)

Music is definitely my refuge at the moment- here's another song...

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved
And I

I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me

Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed
I can't go on like this
I loathe all I've become

Lost in a dying world I reach for something more
I have grown so weary of this lie I live

(no subject)

Ah, that wonderful mental safety net of mine...I recovered my equilibrium somewhat. I won't say I'm happy, and the situation is far from ideal, but I'm coping.

Give it a few more days and I should be fine- just in time for my birthday!

(no subject)

Looking back, now I'm in a much better mood, I was considering deleting the first post from today.

On reflection though, I've decided to keep it around, as a reminder.